Redeeming Love: Fear

The entire section on "Fear" was entirely jaw-dropping! From Michael's amazing rescue of his wife and his eventual forgiveness: "No matter how much it hurts, and no matter how much I feel like hurting you back for what you've done, I'm not going to..." To the entire struggle between Michael and God as he asked, "What could become of a marriage so fouled by sexual betrayal?" To the unfolding of more evil events in Angel's past and how Michael saw Angel through God's eyes: "Lord... Help me. Open my heart and mind so that I will love her as you have loved me."


To the beautiful description of how Angel is slowly falling in love with Michael:


"She felt a quickening inside her, a soft, warm curling in her belly, yet she felt neither threatened nor used."


"His hands fanned the spark inside her until it was a flame, but he didn't quench it. He gave her space and freedom she thought she wanted and let it burn."


To Chapter 21 that heightened up to Angel's growing love for Michael, which brought me to a journey back to those first few months when Edison and I first fell in love. What great writing! To send me to another place and time just by mere use of words: "[T]he lightest touch made her sense spin. His dreams were becoming her dreams."


But the dark contradiction creeping from Angel's past was what kept me gripping onto this novel: "She wanted to crush the new feelings... [Love] grew like ivy, forcing its way into the smallest cracks of her defenses, and eventually it would rip her apart. If she let it. If she didn't kill it now." So when Angel did decide to tell Michael the most evil thing she ever did (up to this point I was thinking, "Seriously, how much more evil can it get?) - my heart was beating so slowly; it was like everything was in slow motion:

Do it, Angel.

She had to do it. Her palms were damp... When [Michael] looked at her, her heart sank.

And when I read it, I didn't think I was ready for it. And it really made me wonder if there would be any man (in real life), who was like Michael. I guess I just have to believe that nothing is impossible in God, huh? Because I don't think an ordinary man could ever take the pain and the horror of Angel's past. But as Angel described the whole story behind the heart-sinking incident, an even more evil force was revealed: Duke! And I was crushed - I was crying in sorrow and anger at the same time...

I literally couldn't put the book down as the following sequence of events unfolded: from another heart-breaking revelation, to Michael walking out... to their tear-jerking conversation of Michael embracing their marriage as a way for God to strengthen him... to Michael renewing his marriage vow... to their "warm and wonderful, exciting and right" act of love... up to the morning after when Michael found out that "Angel was gone."

My jaws literally dropped and silently I was screaming: "Noooooooooooooo!!! This is freakin' good! Omg! I can't wait to start the next section/chapter!!!"

(Jeez! When was the last time I got hooked on a novel like this???)

Redeeming Love: Chapters 11-14

The last four chapters of (the section) “Defiance” sent me on a roller coaster ride.

It was beautiful – the night that Michael and Angel spent under the stars and watching the darkness being engulfed by the sunrise the following morning… and Michael says:

“That’s the life I want to give you… I want to fill your life with color and warmth. I want to fill it with light.”

I went from being in love to growing impatient with Angel. When would she realize how lucky she was that God had sent Michael to her? So I was getting frustrated, just as Michael was:

God, haven’t I touched her at all?

Slowly Angel felt different kinds of emotions towards Michael. As Angel let Michael in her heart and soul a little bit, getting to know her more, Michael changed her name from Mara (meaning, bitter), which he had started calling her, to Amanda (“it sounds like a gentle, loving name”).

I was sent at the edge of my seat, when they finally consummate their marriage. I was happy and sad at the same time. For but a moment, they were on the same page about the fire between them…

And then Angel ran away. She might as well had ripped my heart, too. I was ready to be depressed with Michael, but he didn’t give up. What made me think he was going to give up that easily? When he caught up with Angel, he did this great thing that made ME fall in love with his character even more:

That way is Pair-a-Dice [where the brothel is]… That way is home.

Free will, he gives Angel. (Sigh)

Angel came back and stayed with Michael, but only for a while. When she found another way out, she went to go back to the hell where she’s been – I mean all of it! So I might as well had vomited with her, and I felt as if my heart turned into ice just like hers…

(Damn, this is good writing, Francine Rivers! To take me into a journey, into a ride of emotions just like that – with the use of words in the novel… Can’t wait to begin the next section/chapter!)

Redeeming Love: Chapters 9 & 10

These two chapters highlight the adjustment period that a married couple goes through during the first few days that they get under the same roof. I was able to relate...

Lord, I love her, but is it always going to feel like this? Like there's an ache inside me I'll never get over?

And I was very happy about the "progress" that the love story seems to be making. I think that's the first time that Michael used the L-word. :)

And then, there's Angel...

Angel tried to put space between their bodies, but Michael Hosea filled the bed the same way he filled the cabin.

The same way he was beginning to fill her life.

Ahhhh... ayan na! *Kilig*

Redeeming Love: Chapters 4-8

So five chapters later and Michael and Angel do not fall in love yet.

But I am falling in love with the story... :)

I haven't read the Book of Hosea, so I don't know how much of it is paralleled in these chapters. But I relate to the parts when there are inner conflicts between the characters and God. They mirror the struggles that I have sometimes with my Creator. I get stubborn and probe just as Michael does:

Jesus, I misunderstood. This can't be the one you sent for me... God, why her? Tell me that... Why do you tell me to marry a harlot?
This is the woman I have chosen for you.
That's what you want, isn't it, Lord?And you're not going to give me any peace until I [go back and get Angel].

And I love it when Michael says things to Angel, as the Lord would say them to us, His beloved:

"I'll provide what you need when you need it."

"I'm not going to give you anything more than you can handle."

"You'll be right here with me, where you belong."

Time to get ready for our New Year's Eve get-together. But, Lord, I want to thank You for this book so moving, I'm already thinking of friends and family to gift it to.

Redeeming Love: Chapter 3

I know exactly what Michael feels like during his first meeting with Angel:

"He was angry at himself for being such a naive fool."

What was I thinking? That they would just fall in love during their first encounter? Of course, Angel has heard it all before! Of course, she'll think that Michael is just like any other men that have been using her!

Maybe I've been watching too many romantic movies, where the characters have to meet, fall in love, and sail into the sunset - all within an hour and a half.

But that's exactly the beauty and the thrill of reading a book... the emotions linger a little bit longer as the story draws on, and I am left with my own imagination about how everything looks like and feels like - just by reading the author's descriptive words.

Gotta get back to the book. How do they fall in love?

Redeeming Love: Defiance - Chapters 1 & 2

Chapter One gives a snapshot of the person that Sarah/Angel has become. "She hated the men for their relentless quest for pleasure... All they saw was her beauty, a flawless veil wrapped around a frozen heart..." After everything that she's been through, can you blame her for turning out the way she did? *This issue definitely tugs on my heartstrings. I wonder if God is calling me to work on some ministry to help protect children's innocence, to save and heal children whose innocence had been robbed from them. I'll need a different outlet for figuring that one out.*

Chapter Two provides a glimpse of the hero, Michael: "There was something in his look that made men treat him with respect...He knew what he was about even if the rest of the world didn't." I love how Michael talks to the Lord, especially the at the end of the chapter: "'Lord, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.' But he knew he was going to marry that girl anyway."

I can't wait for Angel and Michael's first meeting! The romance pocket book reader in me is getting all worked up! I love how this novel is unfolding.

Redeeming Love: Child of Darkness - Prologue

The entire chapter was building up to the pure evil that I thought would actually happen, but I could find myself still hoping and wishing that it wouldn't. After my heart has been broken so many times by what this little girl (Sarah) was going through, I couldn't bear the thought of her being stripped of her innocence and dignity - as if she hasn't suffered enough in the hands of her biological father, her mother, and her nanny. So when the pure evil finally did happen, I was just numb... I put the book down and did not touch it again until I had this blog to capture my emotions. What an intense first chapter!

Currently Reading: Redeeming Love

I saw this book in my good friend, Anto's library. I never thought much about it since I've never really read any Christian novels before. Last weekend however, Edison, the kids, and I made a special trip to Barnes and Noble to support Holy Angels School's fundraiser. (Barnes and Noble, by the way, might just as well be how I would picture heaven: books and coffee - doesn't get better than that!) We got a bunch of books for the kids - Christmas gifts! I already had a couple of books in my hand when I saw Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. Recognizing the book cover from my friend's blog, I picked it up and read the plot on the back cover.

From that moment on, I couldn't put the book down. I've been finished with Child of Darkness: Prologue, but I decided to create this blog in order to capture the thousand different emotions that I am going through by reading the book. I needed an outlet, a sounding board for my thoughts before I could get on with the following chapters.

I am infamous for starting lots of books at the same time. I like to pick up a book, reflect on it... pick up another, reflect on it... and then another, so on and so forth. I am not sure why I do this, but I like the feeling that when I pick up the first book again, I have a fresher take on it than if I read it in one sitting. Strange, huh?

Anyway, I am not sure I could let that happen with Redeeming Love. It seems too good to put down, but like I said, I would need this blog to process through the emotions.